Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
