we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize
