escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
