i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
