This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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