Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Randomize
