I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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