i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
