Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
