I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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