Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize