Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
