It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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