dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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