First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
