Porn is love you can see.
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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