Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
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