he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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