they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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