quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize