what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
