Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
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