the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
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