well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
