belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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