do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
