Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
