Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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