Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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