I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Randomize
