I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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