yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
