We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
