I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
