He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
cat food counts as protein by the way
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I want to fling myself into the sun
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
