On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
