Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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