the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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