What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Everclear isn't food dammit
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Randomize
