we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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