Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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