That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
