If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
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