You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
