i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
