hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
