i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
