Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Randomize
