So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Randomize
