Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I was not drunk enough for that final.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
