ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
