Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
tell me about the fingering
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