Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
So squirting runs in the family.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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