Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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