2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
