woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Im part way to drunk.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
