He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
