So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
