i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
