woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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