i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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