you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Randomize
