My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I'm like, not good at living.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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