she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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