Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
