i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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