Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Randomize
