brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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