i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
