I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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